I’m so fucking angry right now.
The Boston Celtics just lost, again. They’re now 0–2 out of a 7 game playoff series against a team that shouldn’t even be in the playoffs.
The funny thing is, I’ve never been to Boston. I don’t even really know anyone from Boston. I was born and raised in San Diego, and I just couldn’t stand all my annoying Lakers friends.
So for the past 10 years, I’ve been following the Celtics. This year has been incredible — somehow, they managed to become one of the best teams in the whole NBA. They have some good players and a great player, and many commentators picked them to even challenge LeBron James.
And here we are, losing 2 games in a row to a garbage team. They weren’t even that close.
And I’m fucking angry.
What I’m Learning About Obsessions
I read Celtics blogs every day. I read every available article posted about them every morning before work. I can name all 15 players on the team without hesitation. My wife peered over my shoulder as I browsed Facebook: “Your entire Facebook is just beer and Celtics!”
I’ve become obsessed with the Celtics. Something on the border of a “sports addiction.”
When I take a step back, I can see the bigger picture.
Even if the Celtics achieved the ultimate, highest goal — winning the championship — would that make me happy? Would I be satisfied? Would I be fulfilled?
No. And as I, like you, know many sports fanatics that are literally Sports Addicts, frothing at the mouth over inconsequential sports updates and games, I realize I don’t want to be like that.
I’m tempted to just say, “Fuck it. I don’t really care about the Celtics anyway. They’re gonna lost in the first round, again. Whatever. I don’t care.
But I do. I care a lot. It’s because I opened my heart to them, and now I’m getting screwed. It’s like a breakup from a serious relationship. “I don’t care, fuck them. I’m totally over them. They’re stupid anyway, I’ve found someone else.”
But of course you do care. You’re hurt, sad, angry, frustrated, and confused. And in hopes of alleviating those feelings, you try to tell yourself that no, you didn’t actually care. That you really weren’t invested. That you hadn’t opened yourself up so that if things went bad, you’d get hurt.
Well, I’m fucking angry right now because I opened my heart to a cause that I believed in, absorbing and engaging in it literally every day for about 8 months so far.
I told my friends that at least I’ll get a ton of likes and comments on this article because it’s so authentic and real and everyone’s gonna be like “Whoa this guy is so raw and real I love it I’m gonna follow him now” and when the Celtics lose in unprecedented historical fashion I’ll be numb to the pain because I’ll have a lot more followers on Medium.