I Don’t Miss Medium

I might delete this. I’ve written several drafts of this article, and I’ve always deleted it.

For 5 years, I made a good living on Medium. I was a top writer here on the platform, and was regularly getting millions of views and thousands of dollars a month. Not enough to like, buy an Aston Martin (or even a Range Rover), but enough to provide a fun life with some spending money for my wife and I.

I padded my revenue with other things — I wrote some books, I was selling online courses and coaching programs and I was teaching others how to live a better life. I loved my work. I absolutely loved it, being a writer and getting my message out to people.

It wasn’t always fun — I had lots of low months, stressful months, dwindling view counts, uncertainty about my future, the future I was providing for my wife and I, the future where we wanted to have kids and buy a house. Could I still write that many ideas? Could I keep up?

Then things on Medium changed dramatically. It seemed like over the course of just a few months, my views and income plummeted by like 60–70%. I didn’t change anything, I didn’t do anything differently — it was the algorithm, or external factors that I couldn’t control.

I saw the writing on the wall, and decided to make one of the biggest leaps of faith, perhaps the biggest leap of faith, I’d ever made in my entire life. I changed directions entirely and started to be a coach instead.

I dropped $10,000 dollars (money we didn’t have, we put it all on our credit card), to learn how to sell high ticket courses. I don’t regret it. I am immensely proud that I did that. It took the most balls, the most guts, out of almost anything I’d ever done. I loved myself for taking that risk, and committing to trying my absolute very very best — to help people with my message, to be confident enough to sell something for thousands of dollars, to pivot careers entirely.

I did alright, for a while. I had dozens of clients, and I was selling coaching services for $1k, $3k, $5k a pop. I couldn’t believe it. While so many of my other colleagues were still on the Medium game, trying to squeeze out a living on this volatile (and at times very poorly run) platform, I had made the courageous jump to try something new.

But after a while, it became clear that it wasn’t working. I was making good money, but it was all going to expenses. Each month we were left in more debt, and it was racking up to very large numbers, very quickly. Meanwhile, I was working myself to the bone. I just kept using my good ol’ superpower: “I’ll just work harder!” Which I did.

But after almost a year of a handful of great highs and a barrage, an endless storm of insanely low lows, I reached a point where the bravest thing I could do each day, the bravest thing, was to *not* curl up into the fetal position under my desk. I was perpetually drowning. I was constantly consumed by stress, anxiety, fear, confusion, frustration, and panic. I couldn’t apply for unemployment, I didn’t qualify. This was all I knew how to do. My entire identity was around “being a writer” and “being an entrepreneur.”

But it got to a point where it would’ve been crazy to keep going.

And I gave up.

That’s what it felt like. It felt like I gave up on my dream. Tens of thousands of dollars in debt, 100% burnt out, with no plan and no hope for my dream, I just…gave up.

That last month of trying, I did every single thing I could think of to keep the ship afloat. I offered discounts. I think I wrote like 20–25 full length articles that month. I tapped into every connection, every sales lead I had.

And it didn’t work.

So I gave up. And left Medium. You can see the date on my last article, whenever that was.

And honestly?

Honestly:

I haven’t missed Medium.

That was like, 2 years ago. For me, it’s a lifetime ago. It’s hard to remember what it was like, even.

I got a 9–5 job. Turns out, all that writing and emailing and content stuff I did translates pretty well into the corporate world.

I’m making wayyyy more money than I did on Medium. I’m working wayyyy less. And I’m like, so much happier now, it’s like apples and oranges.

Part of me was, and still is, really sad that things didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I never planned to have a boss ever again. I wanted to be an entrepreneur for the rest of my life. The thought of telling my old email list, or my old colleagues, writer buddies, and fans that, yeah, I wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t cut it, I gave up and got a 9–5 job…

I mean, that’s pretty much why I didn’t post here. I was too embarrassed. Hell, I still might get mean comments confirming those worst fears of mine.

But — I really don’t care that much anymore. Hence, why I actually think I’m going to post this one this time.

I don’t miss the stress. I don’t have to pay $1000 out of pocket each month for my kids’ healthcare! I can have jobs that give me unlimited PTO. Back then, I took off like 10 days (calendar days, not business days) of work when my daughter was born. That’s all I could afford to take off — then back to writing. Nowadays, I make way more and work way less. I’m so much less stressed.

Nowadays, instead of thinking of article ideas while I’m at dinner with my wife, or building out online course ideas while I’m watching my toddler on the playground, I can just…be at dinner with my wife or at the park with my kid.

I do very different things now. I started a YouTube channel, where I write video essays about my favorite video games (I’m a writer — we have to write somehow, ya know). I’m really into cooking now. I’m going to enter a pie-baking competition in a couple months.

I can rely on a paycheck, when before I couldn’t.

For all my current writing brothers and sisters, keep up the good fight. I hope you can get your message out to as many people as you can. Hopefully places like Medium help you do that.

But for me, that “good fight” became something very negative. My ambitions became toxic, my day-to-day became so colored by anxiety and fear and frustration that it led me to literally, not-even-close, hands-down the worst mental health I’ve ever had.

I told my therapist that first month after I gave up, that I was just “taking a sabbatical” from entrepreneurship. It made the whole thing much more palateable. I’ll be back! I could tell myself. Just you wait, ol’ Anthony is just gearing up for the buggest comeback yet!

Nope. It’s been over 2 years, and not for one second have I felt the need, the want, to go back to writing here, to working for myself. I’m really proud of myself for sticking with this, because it was so hard for me to give up that dream.

I don’t know where I’ll be in a few years, career-wise. I’m not scared of AI, I’m too good of a writer (I hope that doesn’t sound egotistical, I truly don’t mean it to, I’m grateful that I did learn how to write so well over so many years). But I don’t see myself ever placing my entire income on an algorithm again.

Anyway, I’m like, so surprised I’m actually going to post this. I don’t think I’ll post again, I think I’ve said it all here.

Anyway, if you were a fan of my work, I’m really glad you liked it. Can you believe my articles are still getting thousands of views a month? Crazy! I honestly had no idea.

I don’t really have a good ending here. Just felt like sharing my update.

Thanks for reading.

- Anthony Moore