“Only in a state of discomfort can you grow.” -Bill Eckstrom, Tedx Speaker
Often, you have to do the opposite of what you want to get better.
But the thing about doing hard things is that they’re, well…hard. Best-selling author Seth Godin wrote a book describing this phenomenon called The Dip; at some point, it gets really hard to keep going on your path to mastery. This part of the journey is the “dip,” where most people give up; it’s why so few people ever master anything.
But the more you can get yourself to do things you usually don’t…
“The stiffest tree is readiest for the ax.” -Bruce Lee
A few years ago, I was working as a telemarketer. I’d make around 250 calls a day to angry, volatile strangers who would consistently yell at me, cuss me out, and berate me for bothering them.
I was drinking 6–8 cups of coffee every workday (then slugging 2–3 drinks after work to calm down). I would wake up sweating in a panic in the middle of night. Every day at work felt like I was walking around with a gigantic black, nasty cannonball of stress in my gut.
In the first 4.5 years of my writing, I accomplished practically nothing. After 54 months, I had 180 subscribers, I averaged 50ish views/day, with no income, no influence, and, frankly, no hope.
At the time, I was writing frantically and sporadically, posting several times a week for months on end. I was pitching guest posts to every single blog I could think of. I was reaching out to other bloggers, podcasters, authors (I once sent an actual letter to a best-selling author asking to connect — he sent an email saying thanks, but he was too busy).
I thought more…
Over the last 15 years, I’ve burned a lot of bridges.
I’ve done a lot of hurtful things, said hurtful stuff, and was a complete asshole to many people I loved, who loved me back and deserved better. I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
At times, I still marvel at how stupid I was. How conceited and profoundly self-absorbed I was. And how I didn’t even see it.
But in the process, I’ve learned how to restore those relationships (some of them, at least. Some people still won’t talk to me).
That’s what this…
“Your soul knows you’re on the wrong path even if you yourself cannot find the words to express the root of your meh.” -Neil Patel
Most people aren’t their best selves right now.
They are distracted and derailed by negativity, confusion, anger, and resentment. This leads to a profound lack of focus, which always leads to poor choices and mediocre results. This is why so many people only lead “good” lives instead of great ones.
“As a man thinketh, so he is. As he continues to think, so he remains.” -James Allen
Do you believe you’ll soon become 100% financially independent?
Do you believe you’ll never get divorced?
Are you positive you’ll ever travel the world?
What you believe determines what you become. You see what you look for; you attract what you are.
Most people don’t realize their beliefs determine the rest of their life; what you believe today has real effects on tomorrow. Your income, success, health, and who you ultimately become are based entirely on what you believe will happen.
“Remember: we all get what we tolerate. So stop tolerating excuses within yourself, limiting beliefs of the past, half-assed, or fearful states.” -Tony Robbins
Most people are not the best version of themselves right now. Not even close.
They are dragged down by mindsets defined primarily by limits — how smart they are, how far they can go, how hard they can work, how successful they can be. Most of these limits are pretty low.
“It’s lonely at the top,” wrote entrepreneur Tim Ferriss. “99% of people are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for…
Anyone can achieve greatness. Anyone.
Greatness is relative, yes. The results might look different; for some, simply quitting an addiction means greatness. For others, creating a Fortune 500 company means greatness.
Anyone can do this. But most people won’t.
I’m not talking about simple averages and logistics, where “obviously everyone can’t be in the top 5%.” That’s bull. If you take a class of 100 students, 100 students could achieve greatness.
This is because we all have a choice, every moment of every day. As author Rebecca Eanes once wrote, “In between every action and reaction, there is a space.”…
Most people can’t remember the last time they entered a flow state.
According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his book Flow, flow is “the optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.”
Most people sleepwalk through life without ever feeling so intensely focused, time seems to stand still.
The idea of flow might have been popularized the most with professional athletes, who often describe the feeling of succeeding on the field. Gold medalists, Tour de France winners, and World Cup champions, have all repeatedly recounted how they were in flow states for their winning performances.
In his book, Kitchen Confidential, world-renowned chef Anthony Bourdain described his mentor asking him if he had any enemies.
“You know Anthony,” he said. “I have many, many enemies. It’s good, sometimes, to have enemies — even if you don’t know who they are. It means you are…important.”
I hate it when people don’t like me.
I hate it. I feel awful. I want to call them immediately and make up. I’ll do whatever it takes — just please take this awful feeling away.
After 4 years of writing, I had nothing to show for it — no followers, no…